So I guess we are done. I suppose that I'm okay with that.
I don't have much to say.. I just want you to know that I really loved you.
And I am one hundred percent sure you will never find someone who really loves you like me.
Because we are meant to be. We are. But I guess we have just ruined it for ourselves.
I won't be on. I won't text you. You can live.
Bye char.
- Goodbye.
-
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
fishpastewonder- April 21st, 17:11
- hahahahahahaaaa! :D
-
- fishpastewonder
- March 17th, 15:34
Hello people :) I mean uh.. whatever. haha.
Today is just well, I dunno. It was pretty good actually.
I felt pretty all day. And that feels good. :D
It's like though once I get home and am not thinking about my friends or school work and such..
My mind instantly goes the March 15th evening. I really wish it wouldn't, it hurts real real bad. Still. D:
Um.. I guess time will have to fix that. A lot a lot of time. I think it will be worth it though.
Going through the pain, I mean. That will be worth it.
I had a dream. It was a nice dream I think. This is it:
Alyssa's parents, my boyfriend, and I were driving in a truck on the way home. From south carolina perhaps? I am not sure.
But I was sitting next to Alex and I was just looking at him and I would say something, sometimes. He never really talked to me though.
I tried kissing him and he turned his head so I ended up kissing his cheek. I wasn't upset I just laughed and was like..
"What's your deal?" He just shook his head no so I told him to hold me. He shook his head no. Again.. whatever. lol
We dropped Alex off at his house, which was like really big and white and nice, and his mom was REALLY really mean.
She was talking to me and I was just sitting there looking at her and Alex was across the room on a couch laughing at me. lol
But then Alex's mom went up to him and was like.. "I don't want you out here! Get in your room nowwww!" So alex shrugged and took out his phone. lol Next thing I knew.. I got a text from my boyfriend saying 'meet me in my room?' I smiled so huge then I tried to text back but my phone just completely went dead D: So I was like ok ok whatever, I am going to get my ipod and alex went in his room.
I went to the car, got my ipod and as soon as I opened alex's bedroom door he had this hose lmao and he squirted me. In the face.
That is when I woke up. :D So yeah. I knew wouldn't forget :)
That's it I guessss. BYEYEYEYBEYBEYEBEYBEYE
- Jump on it baby.
-
- fishpastewonder
- March 16th, 16:40
I am going to start treating this as a regular blog.
I think I will type much more often in it, because I have diffculty expressing myself to my boyfriend..
And usually this is completely dedicated to him. I suppose it still is.
I am just going to change the way I write, I guess.
Today. Oh my jesus, today today today.
For starters it's my nine month anniversary :D
It's a wonder two humans can stay together for that long without killing eachother.
haha I guess we have gotten pretty close to killing eachother.
I love him soo much. It's crazy, really.
Ummmm..
SCHOOOL! :D
It's been pretty fun lately. I guess cause I have the coolest people ever in my classes :)
I think tis a good way to finish off my freshman year cause I gotta admitt..
THE FIRST 2 TRIMESTERS SUCKED ASS. So soooo soo boring. Zzzz.
This is my new schedule:
1st Hour- French (again, with my sister..shoot me. and Allyssa Batistoni. I love Allyssa :D)
2nd Hour- Parenting (I WILL BE SWITCHING OUT OF THIS CLASSSSS! damnit.)
3rd Hour- Health
4th Hour- Geometry (My teacher lets us do whatever we want. We don't even have to do our homework!)
5th Hour- English (The best class of the entire day.) :D
So yepp. That's it. I hope this tri doesn't go by too fast, summer get's boring.
That kind of reminds me of last summer. I started dating my boyfriend that summer.
My whole entire vacation was dedicated to him, probably the best summer ever :)
This year.. I have a new home so it's going to be different. I think I might throw a lot of parties. haha :D
Anyway, I suppose I am done.
This is my best post since.. FOREVER! :]
-applause-
- (no subject)
-
- fishpastewonder
- March 11th, 11:35
Frick. I am at school D: But I leave sooooooooooooooon. So yay. :)
I feel really really terrible for how I was last night. I know I apologize all the time and it's probably becoming meaningless to you, but I am sorry. I mean it. I just did not want you to go =/ I could of stayed up till like 11, so I guess I was just excited to get to talk to you for a while longer. Again.. I'm really sorry. I love you :D
What else, what else? Oh man, I don't even know D:
Umm... I am so tired. haha :) I woke up at 5:15 this morning and left. Then I stayed up, drove all the way to Flint to my grandma's docotor, and came back home and had Quizno's for lunch. My tummy still hurts. But it was good. :)
I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU. Sort of.
We were flying around in the air on these hoverboards and there was this other boy with you, who at first I thought it was you. But it turned out you were the cuter one :) Don't ask me how that happened.. I guess I was just confused or something. We were about the drop down to the ground and so I came up to you and that kid and both of you kissed my hand at the same time, but I wanted what I thought was you to kiss it again so I held it out in front of the kids face that I thought was you and he kissed it again and smiled at me. So I was all happy even though the other boy (which was really you was better looking and nicer) : D When we got close to the the ground our hoverboards turned into horses. And the cute boy (you, who I didn't know it was you at the time) told me I needed to get off my horse cause it was too dangerous. And I started crying cause I wanted to ride the horse and so you told me it would be alright and gave me a hug. So I went up to who I thought was Alex and said like.. Alex, your friend won't let me ride a horse cause he thinks I will get hurt blah blah. Then that kid was like.. what? I am not Alex. He is Alex. So I got this huge grin on my face and was like OKAY :D That is all.
Well, I love you. A LOT. I thought about you this entire morning. I'm not lying.
- (no subject)
-
- fishpastewonder
- February 12th, 15:50
I feel really pathetic. It's only been less then 24 hours since we spoke last and I'm... dying. I don't know if I can take this all the way till saturday.. Come back to me?
- Ohh man.
-
- fishpastewonder
- January 15th, 17:48
sore&sleepy.
I.... am exhausted. That was most deffinatley one of my hardest practices this season. My muscles feel like jello. But it was all worth it I think. We should do pretty good at this wednesdays competition :)
Oh and incase you didn't know.. tomorrow is our seven month anniversary :D
I am feeling weird about you being the homecoming representitive. I don't know why.. cause at first I was really actually happy for you. And now I just wish you lost- don't take that offensivly. I don't know why.. I just really don't want you to do that >.< And I am not asking you to back out or anything..cause it's really cool you get to do something like that, I am just telling you incase I am ... touchy on the subject. I'll try not to be though.
Anyway, my plans for the rest of the night are..
-eat dinner
-shower
-nap
-wake up and do my hair
-read
..and the whole time text you while I can cause you have to work D: I hate work too. lol but I know you need to do that if you ever want to come see me : )
I guess that's all.
- (no subject)
-
- fishpastewonder
- January 9th, 21:13
calm
Ehhh. Your last entry pretty much scares me. Really bad. Don't write about that stuff unless your serious D: That way I can come save you. : ) But I think it was really good if you wrote it yourself. Which I think you did.. it was good. I couldn't write something like that.
Today something I thought was funny happened. This kid in my history class kept screwin' around and touching all my stuff when I was trying to copy down answers for the test on monday. I told him like over and over again to knock it off..and finnaly I was just like..dude, STOP! But I was like joking kind of. Not really .. he said "Hammer time." right after. It made me laugh pretty hard : )
Maggie is running loose outside D: I am scared.
I better go help them get her.
- Alexander is my heroine.
-
- fishpastewonder
- December 21st, 2008
I haven't posted in forever. More like ten days but, I guess it's good that I am though.
I miss you already. A lot. =/ It's making me sad. It doesn't help that I have a really bad cold. Oh well.
Um.. we had our family christmas party today. There's a few pictures, but I look pale and sickly and yucky : ) So I don't know if I will put them up. I won my bean bag back :D Which I am glad about cause I am gonna read in it. So yay.
I hope your having fun in DC and drawing pictures of yourself for me : ) That's what you said you were going to do, isn't it? lol
I remember you said you'd draw pictures of something. Maybe I will draw too sense I am insanely bored without you =/
I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed you. Sooo much. I don't know why you have to go with your grandma to get a passport. I mean, can't they just mail it to you? That's what Alyssa had done when she went to the bahamas. And besides, even if for some reason you do have to migrate to DC to get a passport... is grandma not a big girl? Couldn't she of went by herself so you didn't have to leave me with the nut cases up here? D: I am going to do some things tomorrow to help pass the time your gone.
I have practice from 3:30 to 6:30 and then afterwards me and Lyssa are going to a party. I should be spending the night at her house to.. or she's coming here. It should be fun if I don't feel shitty.
Don't you basically have a cold for the rest of your life that won't go away? If you do.. I feel really bad for you. Cause I'm miserable : ) And I am probably being a big baby about it. lol but I miss you. As if I haven't established that already.
I'll be waiting for you tuesday. As soon as I can I'll be on.
I love you.
- (no subject)
-
- fishpastewonder
- December 11th, 2008
- content
AHH. I am so glad to not be at practice anymore :) That place is like hell. Not kidding, I loved it :D
Um.. I don't have practice again till tuesday- which is our day. So that.. sucks :/ Let's celebrate monday.
Last night at like midnight I was just writing, and I promised myself I would show you it. Although..now I feel like it's pointless- I am just gonna show you anyway I guess. And I always want to know what your thinking when we argue..so this is just like a little chunk of what I think about. lol : )
Alexander James Taylor. I talk too much, don't I? It's the small little arguments that get me thinking about stuff the most. During the big important ones I'm too busy trying to keep us together or getting us back together from me breaking up to really think straight. But it's the small ones that aren't quite enough to break up over, but at the same time do need to be handled before it turns into something much worse that make me think. Have you noticed that? One of us says one wrong thing and everything changes. If you ask me, its seems now as if the big important fights really aren't the most important ones because these are the ones that make the difference to me. I can't help but think about breaking up. I really, truely want to be with you forever and you have to believe that. It's just I have only person here where I live that isn't constantly telling me that we aren't worth it or we aren't real, so it's something that is always on my mind regardless if we are doing okay or not. When we are mean to eachother or we fight or we say something that really hurts, sometimes I let those people get to me- which is completely my fault. I have no excuses. Maybe your right in saying that I should of just kept my mouth about you, but to me your something too great and something that makes me too happy to stay quiet about. And the girls. Oh the girls. I'm sure you have noticed...I fucking hate every single one of them with everything I have. I'm not really worried about you cheating on me that much although I should be. It's just that your mine. I don't know why you enjoy them all so much. I mean, what can be so great about all that? Do I not give you enough attention? It bothers me. A lot. I could write for hours about us probably, but I won't waste your time. I bet your hardly even paying attention to what it says by now. lol Despite, all the mean and bad things I think about our relationship I still feel like it is the best thing I have going for me right now. There's no doubt in my mind that one June 16th, 2008 around 10:30 pm I too, made the best decision of my life. I am crazy in love with you and it's going to stay that way. Althought, at times I might question wether I value what we have enough to go on with it, I know in the back of my mind .. that I do. Baby, you are so worth it.
I love youu and will talk to you soon I hope : ) And I want to spend my whole weekend talking to you. Every second.
- (no subject)
-
- fishpastewonder
- December 10th, 2008
Woooooooooow.
Tonight has been ok. I was afraid we were going to have a bad day today. It's too bad I guess.
There's a lot of things I want to say so bad, and things that I really do mean..but I know it'd probably kill you, so I am going to keep them to myself. Umm... I am just gonna talk about normal stuff.
So you know that last night I went to bed at like like 7pm. I woke up at maybe 10:30 and thought it was time to get ready for school. haha I slept all night till about 10:30 this morning :) I didn't expect to have school. I know I will have it tomorrow though, and cheer. Which is till 7, so I wont be home till like.. 7:30. That's why I wanted you to get back on tonight cause I knew we wouldn't talk much tomorrow, but I guess your internet is working- whatever. My cousins came over. It was fun :) And I cleaned my room and took a shower. It was like a weekend. Kind of.
I seriously, like dead seriously.. do not want you to talk to Amanda ever again. Ever. And if you don't like that, then beak up with me. I'm not worried that your going to leave her for me. I just don't like it. And I feel better about the whole you thinking about amanda while you were still with me, cause I didn't think about you either till a few months ago. But it still kind of upset me. If anything, it grossed me out. Lmao.
I'm pretty fed up with everything. I just hope we don't screw this up. I feel like you care to much about your uh...pride? Maybe that's not the word. But it's like.. you act like a jerk, just to .. I don't even know why. Or when you leave. You always get mad at me about it, so why do you do it? When I want to leave, I am just going to. Regardless.
I still love you.
A lot.
Just, lets keep this going. ok?
- I love you.
-
- fishpastewonder
- December 6th, 2008
crushed
So I am awake. It's 12:25 am. I have to wake up at 6:30 and go to work or whatever. That's till like 11:30 I think. Then I will be home for a little bit, and I doubt you'll be on then. You might be sleeeping. I don't know. Then after that I am going to my grandma's house..I think. And I am going sledding too. It should be fun, but I am gonna freeze my butt off cause I have no snow pants =/ I think I am gonna miss you. I always do.
Maybe I should talk about the 'break up'. Look, I just .. I know you don't care. It hurts to think you don't love me like you did, cause I could loose you so easily. I am really confused. There is nothing I want more then to say, forget about a break up.. let's just try to fix things. I am not doing that to you again, with the back and forth. So.. I guess it's really up to you what you want. I do love you. And if you want to be with me, then be with me. Don't be with me cause you feel like you have to..if you don't love me like you did, then maybe we shouldn't. But I'm in love with you and I wish I could talk to you right now. =/
Infact, I think I might have my mom text you. I miss you D:
- What to say?
-
- fishpastewonder
- December 2nd, 2008
Hmm..I guess now would be a good time to post considering that you won't be on .. forever. :) I have to think about what to say though. Oh! I guess I will post my schedule, kind of. I don't know exact times anymore or anything so whatever...
1st Hour- French (The teacher lovessss me :D)
2nd Hour- Family Living
3rd Hour- Chem.
4th Hour- English (That's a fun class with steven and ryan, except they have gotten me in trouble like 4 times already D:)
5th Hour- History
I like this schedule wayyyy more. My day goes by like 500 times faster. Which is good, obviously :)
Random, but I think I want to change my journal style thinger again, christmas is already making me ew.
Christmas is at our new house this year. Yay =l All the little kids are gonna go in my room, and destroy everything I have. Stupid kids.
I'm so pissed at you right now. And this is completely not my fault, once again. It's you. And the girls.
You told me you wouldn't talk to them. It was a lie. And noww, when I get upset and be mean to them..you get mad, like you care about them. Well, ya know what? Talk to all your little girlfriends. I am just gonna talk to forrest, rickey, zakk, and whoever the hell else I want to talk to. Mk?
Have a good life.
- Oh My God.
-
- fishpastewonder
- November 25th, 2008
giddy
I freakin' love you :D
Have a great holiday :)
- lmaolmaolmaolmao.
-
- fishpastewonder
- November 19th, 2008
So I just finshed my history final.. I was doing like really good till I got to problem 101 :) Then I just started sucking and knowing none of the answers, but whatever. I don't care right now :D
Me and Alyssa were in the cafe again today and I was rambling on about all kinds of things about Amanda and Breanna and after I said something about Amanda saying she was in love with you.. Alyssa was like.."WHO LIKES PANDAS ANYWAY?!" Lmfao. I don't know how she remembered that. I have no freakin' clue. but I laughed for like 20 minutes XD And I then eventually I told her no one likes Pandas :D That made my morning :)
Oh and Kelsey came up and asked me if I was going to North Branch, and I said no to keep her from crying. She still cried! She hugged me and cried, like wtf? I can't ever keep her quiet >.>
I think today is just gonna be splendid :D
- AHHH :)
-
- fishpastewonder
- November 18th, 2008
- chipper
We might get out of school kind of early. :D They sent out an email saying that nobody can drink water from the school because it is contaminated. I didn't drink any, don't worry :) But now all the kids that kid did drink water this morning are getting excused from class. They are all going to die. Lmao. That's gonna be funny. Maybe i should go drink some so I can go home. Or at least claim I drinked it :)
So..this is what I am going to do about cheerleading. I am gonna call my dad and tell him that it got changed to only six tonight. And he will come get me and I will be home early :) A whole hour early.
So be on then? I can't wait to talk to you again.
I can't really think of what else to say,..
Uh, for lunch I am having Bosco Sticks :) I hope they are good. I haven't had them in forever.
Oh and Cam came into the Cafe today and gave me the ugliest look ever. D: Oh well. He's mean.
Well, Bye! :D
I love you.
- Alexander Talyor.
-
- fishpastewonder
- November 17th, 2008
- crushed
I love you :) More then anything in the whole world.
Don't ever, ever let me break up with you. Cause I don't want to, ever. But I get really upset and that just seems like the right thing to do at the time. But it's not. So don't let me do it. Ok?
- ihateschoool. :l
-
- fishpastewonder
- November 14th, 2008
okay
K, so I am really upset right now D: I want to watch your video, but of course, anything having to do with myspace is blocked :) I'll be watching that first thing when I get home. >.>
SKFHASJD I miss you. And I'm hungry. My tummy is even growling.
I'll just talk to you after school cause I pretty much have nothing to say :)
I love you :D
- (no subject)
-
- fishpastewonder
- November 13th, 2008
- content
I should be pissed at you for not showing me those videos, but I'm not :) I should beee. I don't think you realize that when I see that stuff..like pictures of you and videos of you and such it makes me love you more. Well, I don't know if I really love you more, just it makes me happier to be with you. It's hard to explain I guess. Don't you remember when you first showed me those pictures from when you went to the fair? It made me happy :)
Anyway, this girl that sits in front of me in history is always drawing evil pictures and such. She went somewhere and we were collecting our homework from the night before and there were a bunch of papers in her book. Mr.Butterfield asked me to look through them and collect her assignment. So..I did. When I opened her book it was like.. a bunch of papers saying 'Satan is my God.' What a freakin' creep. She scares me >.>
Oh I had a dream. It wasn't much of anything though. I was in flint, which is a really dangerous city in Michigan. haha .. almost as dangerous as detroit :) In fact, I am pretty sure it's the third most dangerous in the US and it's only about 35 minutes from my hosue. That's what I was told anyway. I was there, and I was sitting in an alley trying to put in contacts. That was it. People came up and talked to me, but each time I just explained that I was trying to put in my contacts. I think it means something. And I would tell you cause I have this whole theory in my head right now, but that'd be kind of embarrassing. :) So, I think I'll keep that to myself :D
I'm hungry. Good thing I have lunch in about 10 minutes =]
Oh my faovrite quote ever is this ...
"In life you have to push it.. and you have to push it real good" -Shawn White.
Don't ask why.
Um.. I like this one :)
http://www.jared.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product1%7C10451%7C10001%7C-1%7C5 31010508%7C19061%7C19061.19078.19105
- (no subject)
-
- fishpastewonder
- November 11th, 2008
Rednaxela,
You sirr..pretty much rock my world and I hope you know that. Sometimes, I feel as though you aren't a bajillion miles away and like you are a friend that I go to school with. I would say that is a good thing. If for some reason you ever read this note, I hope you don't find it weird or... uhhh uppsessive? (Did I spell that right?) Because I'm not. I am only a friend that is full of heart. Maybe, this will proove to you that I don't kill fish. I am a fish, why would I kill one of my own kind?! Crazyyy. This should proove I am not heartless, because I don't know what more I could do. Ya know, I could take a picture of this and send it to you. You may not be able to read it though because A.) The writing might be too small -or- B.) My writing sucks worse then something that sucks really bad. Damn, this is getting a bit long and I feel like I am just rambling, but oh well. That's what I do anyways. Earlier when I said you had me (if you remember) I meant it. I'm here =)
Y our Fishy Friend,
Jasmine Mabe ♥
P.S.- I think the split between you and Amanda will be good...@ least for now. No matter how crazy our mothers are, they have to be right sometimes =)
________________________________________________________________
So, I don't know when I wrote this. Lmao.
I hardly remember writing it. I'm pretty sure I sent it to you though before? Maybe :)
haha
:D
- Soo...
-
- fishpastewonder
- November 9th, 2008
- flirty
I hope you had fun at Chuck E. Cheese :) You'll have to tell me about it tomorrow.
I don't have a clue when I will be on. I have tryouts >.<
I know they won't be past 6. So I should for sure be on at least by 6:30.
I guess that's all.
Oh oh. I thought about doing it tonight. Lmao :)
But decided not to, you put me in a pretty good already today.
:D
